There are four things I love above all else; Christopher Bailey, 80s music, spa treatments and luxury. When I get a chance to combine any of those loves I jump at it. So, when I found out I was invited to go to the One&Only spa, I jumped or rather 80′s break-danced at the prospect.
I’m a regular spa visitor but something told me this was not going to be my average spa visit. They don’t call it the One&Only for nothing. Something told me this was an opportunity to experience a life of luxury and I should try my hardest not to act like a dork. So I concocted a plan whereby I’d look fabulous, walk in with a Mr Darcy air of arrogance and pretend this was nothing new for me. Forget living luxury, I was luxury. That plan almost worked.
I had decided to leave work a little earlier than usual, to get home, change and spruce up my appearance. Knowing full well, my work outfit would not be enough to show the patrons of the hotel that I was one of them. I rushed home to jazz up my outfit and settled on a dress that made me look like I knew the difference between beluga and sevruga caviar without trying too hard. I grabbed what I thought were my designer sunnies, (which I soon discovered to be my R30-side-of-the-road emergency pair) and ventured out.
Everything was going perfect until I came head-to-head with the afternoon-drive traffic. Realising I could not be late, I did what I had to. I started to drive like a N2 taxi driver. Trying to maneuver my wreck of a car through backed-up traffic with a defunct hooter was no easy task but I managed to pull up into the One&Only on time.
As I drove towards the entrance I tried to look for the farthest parking I could find so no one would see how negligent I had been with car washes. Unfortunately this is the One&Only and they make sure that every aspect of customer service is taken care of and so came the valet parking. Now I love my car, she’s maroon, she gets me to wherever I need to go and she lets me sing Funky Cold Medina at a high volume. Would I like her to be seen out in public however? No, not really. Nevertheless I was escorted out of my car and into the hotel whilst I was trying to tell the nice people who called me M’am how to work my clutch.
Once inside all thoughts of my derelict car and the trouble parking it were washed away. I’m not sure exactly if anyone knew who I was, but they all acted like I was someone. Someone who was escorted, someone who was offered iced beverages and snacks and someone who was allowed onto the private island. That private island being the One&Only Spa.
Upon entering the place, all the noises of the city were replaced by soothing water features and chanting monks. I was greeted by one of those receptionists with the calming raspy voice that makes you feel like you’re in a dream. I had finally arrived. Although I had been determined to show them I knew the ins and outs of beauty treatments and that I was used to this type of thing, I lost all composure and acted like a teenager at a boy band concert. I squealed when I saw my locker. I hugged my robe. I did a little dance in my slippers and I took pictures whenever they weren’t watching.
When it came to my treatment, I decided to recall the inner adolescent girl and try and regain some of my dignity. Easier said than done when I was required to be absolutely starkers for a detoxifying oil and salt scrub.
As my lovely therapist rubbed in the heated oil scrub, I began to wonder about my stretch marks. Surely they would give me away. Everyone knows fabulous people don’t have stretch marks. Just like everyone knows champagne has no calories. If I had been found out, my therapist didn’t say a word. Instead it seemed she tried to punish me. I was lying head down, feeling the tingling effect of the scrub when it suddenly felt like I was on fire. Did she know I was a fraud? Just when I thought, this is the moment, the moment before I see the white light, something good happened. A whole lot of good actually.
My body felt warm and fuzzy. The tingling sensation was back and it had multiplied. Later I found out the pain was actually the work of exfoliation gloves and the subsequent tingling sensation was the effects of the Espa detoxifying products (a range of organic products exclusive to the One&Only).
After a shower, it was time for a aromatherapy massage. I had tried to control myself to stay awake but it was all too good. I woke up an hour later alleviated of all aches and pains. To end the treatment, guests are invited to spend a few minutes in the relaxation area. Think comfy loungers, pomegranate juice, dried fruit and herbal teas. It was great not to have leave straight away after my massage-induced coma. After that I was not sure I was ready to function in the real world. As I made my leave, something even better happened. I was told to experience some of the heat and spa facilities. My eyes dropped, there was more.
The heat facilities consist of a sauna, steam room, experience shower and vitality pool. Between each experience, there is an ice fountain to help guests cool down. I started off in the steam room. Not only great for music videos but also great for sweating off some weight. After dosing myself off with some crushed ice, it was time for some swimming. The vitality pool is essentially a large spa bath with massage jets. Except these massage jets are positioned all over the pool and are on steroids. I was definitely awake for this massage. Once last dose of slushy ice and it was time to shower and leave so I could brag to my sister.
Being the One&Only meant that a shower is just not the same. The experience shower offers several showerheads and water jets on either side. A truly unqiue way of getting clean.
When it was time to leave, I did so reluctantly. Whilst I had tried to pretend like this had been just another spa experience I knew better. From the locker rooms to the sauna, from the robes to the relaxation area and the treatments and the therapists. This was your average spa experience multiplied by a thousand. I opened the door and suddenly the noise of the city didn’t seem so loud.
*All images courtesy of the One&Only Cape Town.
Lucky Girl! :)